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1. |
41
01:55
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41
So it begins and there is no way to turn back
Spent quite some time in denial and tried to force it right on track
Hoping but to no avail as I collected cast down parts
Slowly but surely making a brand new start
41
Head first into the great unknown
At 41 blackbird has flown
I’m leaving it all behind
So determined to feel alive at 41
In all honesty it felt like losing solid ground
A branch off the family tree, everything I knew shut down
Waking up at 4 a.m.
To jump at the chance, I'm going to live again
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2. |
Crew You
01:51
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CREW YOU
They were the ones who came and conquered first
They saw the highs and the lows, the pathetic and the worse
Travelled for miles, fearless at times
There when no one cared
None could be the same
The closest to the flame
Crew you, crew you
We bow our heads for everything you do
Crew you, crew you
Solid, fair and true
They must have heard it all a thousand times
Knowing the old ones and witnessing a new one in its prime
Drink, bounce, party hard, delirium within reach
They will be the last around
None could be the same
Essential they became
There’s a hole where once a bear’s head used to be
And a very well-trained air drum machine
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3. |
Last
02:27
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LAST
I know it all too well
These are the days of letting go
The weeks of hurt, the months of persevering,
A year of learning I won’t be left alone
There’s an army backing me
My search for rhymes and reasons ended quickly
Answers I’ve been looking for but I will never have
I should rewrite my epitaph
I would like to wake up feeling what I haven’t felt in years
Learn from the past
Going steadfast
Maybe this will last
And so I’m reaching out
A bigger room for all who care
I’ll leave the door unlocked and welcome all who come my way
Begin from what I know
I will stretch to understand
It should bring comfort and the gentle need to grow a little day by day
And fill that empty space
Find a different warm embrace
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4. |
Party at Olm Street 10
01:10
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PARTY AT OLM STREET 10
There’s a party at Olm Street 10
It’s been promised as the best since I can’t remember when
And I’ve been counting every single day
Now I’m ready for a party at Olm Street 10
All the furniture's secured so everyone can fit in
You’d be surprised of the amount of bottles an empty fridge can store
It’s what we have been waiting for
A thousand conversations about nothing at all flying around
And gradually focus drifts from talking to not falling down
The last thing that I’m thinking as I’m crawling to the door
Tomorrow I don’t think I will remember anymore
And who did who and where did someone throw up on the floor
Well, I guess that’s what the pictures are for
At Olm Street 10, at Olm Street 10
Well, I sure wish they will do this again
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5. |
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AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER BLUES
How to cope, how to anticipate
Learn from observation, imitate
Remember to make eye contact when you try to blend in (not isolate)
People come and go while I’m around
Sometimes unnoticed, unintentionally bound
Nothing new under the sun, I keep ignoring everyone
Immune to speechless frowns
As I move on, learning everything the hard way
So I never realized I could be strong and go the way I wanna go
From waking up until I'm going to sleep
I’m mostly trying to figure out the everyday upkeep
Don’t take it personally if I don’t talk to you, I’m me
And I’m in my world too deep
Excuse me while I try to lighten up this fucking life
Without leaving 'me' behind
I am not one of your kind
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6. |
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FOREVER GRATEFUL (FOR TOON)
Wish I could give you everything I’d like to give
If only I could see you every day
Promise you I will be there for you unconditionally
Forever grateful
Nothing I could say or do would do justice to what I think of you
The loudest one around
Sheer joy makes your pure voice sound like music cut to perfection
Tender arms reach for affection
I like to keep you close, as close as I possibly can
I know some days you won’t be near
I fully realize that I will miss a part of you growing up
I’ll have to find a way to let you go every time
Just one more thing
I’m sorry for the fragmented life you’ll be in
There will be different places to call your own
May the one where you're staying always be home
Curly hair all over your pillow
Sometimes I just watch you for a while
I always know you’ll be in my heart wherever you go
Someday spread your wings, you’ll grow
So proud of you, I’m forever grateful
For Tony
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7. |
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THERE'S A PLACE (WHERE WE CAN GO TO)
There’s a place where we can go to, full of blame and filled with doubt
Where we push each other far away and get shut out
No one smiles, no reason to at all and everyone’s lost on their way
All you long for is a little out of reach and tomorrow will be like today
There’s a place where kindness disappears as you walk in
A game of harm, an empty house remains and a part of me I’ll leave behind
Where you hope to win but nothing’s gained
The outcome is so undefined
There’s a place where no one stays, we’ll go our separate ways
We will go our separate ways
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8. |
So Far
02:58
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SO FAR
There’s total absence of any sound without an outside world to fill the void
No need proceeding, none to hang around
Just an awkward tendency employed
I never got to making plans today
Decided to let time slip away
So far this eerie silence suits the state I’m in
So far there’s not a lot to talk about
Unmistakingly forsaken
So heartbreaking
(Frustration – Stagnation – Leading to aggravation)
The screen I’m indifferently staring at preventing me to reminisce
Did you really think that I am over this
Think again 'cause I aimed, I shot and missed
Reflecting’s bound to leave me clueless
Back to feeling completely useless
And all days seem the same
I’ll build a chest of wonders
I’ve seen the rise and fall
I need to wreck
Break
I need a place to gently rest
Come to terms with my distress
The need to find security
(Relocation - Time for revaluation
Motivation comes with security)
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9. |
Morally Blind
01:16
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MORALLY BLIND
Taking what I want without concern for anyone’s time
Desperation creeping through while I’m still doing fine
What are you going to do when it all comes down
For they might go out of line
It is well to bear in mind that I'm morally blind
Not even a glimpse of hesitation, everything goes
According to plan, where to? Only a few will know
What are you going to do when it all comes down
For they might go out of line
As I slowly creep inside, I am morally blind
Sitting in an easy chair, selling easy lies to those who are following
You’ll forget to bear in mind that I’m morally blind
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10. |
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CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE
If he never would have told, do you think we would have gone
After all it’s strange how things went and how we keep playing on
We only opened up the door as opportunity dropped by
Never planned anything but with a little help from a real nice guy
Thibaut, he’s the singer of a band called The Octopussys, baby
Could’ve easily casted us aside
Never considered us so tall and we are still not big at all
There are others more deserving, I think, yet they remain small
How come they never qualified, why did they - discouraged - die
Like Face The Fax, this scene was stronger when they were alive
But let me tell you about Mark
On his cab it once said ‘parc’ spelled backwards
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11. |
Kiss Away
04:03
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KISS AWAY
Once more, the same old story
We both know where this comes from and where it will go, given time
Hours will turn into days
Stuck in the wrong place we never get out
A feeling we can do without
I can’t, it’s not that I don’t want to
Exactly like the last time
I just don’t seem to learn from my mistakes so I repeat
Compulsively creating a void between you and the worst part of me
It never seems to function, waste away
It’s all so pointless
The same mistake, more heartache
There’s no reason for things to end up like this
I know you’ve learned long ago to put up your fences
Making sure that nothing I would say would harm you in any way
But still it’s taking its toll and you probably will take this wherever you go
And as we look back on the time we have killed
We both know that
It never seems to function, waste away
It’s all so pointless
The same mistake, more heartache
There’s no reason for things to end up like this
There’s a road ahead
I know that it shouldn’t be like this and salvation is just a kiss away
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12. |
Never Be Just Anyone
02:06
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NEVER BE JUST ANYONE
I got a lot of free time on my hands and so I started cleaning out
Going through boxes filled with faded memories
A thousand messages I wrote, they all reflect the insecurity that came from disrespect
And everything that might have been
Just to learn, for argument's sake, I questioned motives
Asked for more reasons why moving in their direction would be safe
I took advice that seemed to make sense
Ignored the path I could not see
Slowly wrote the manual I live by today
I could have listened, be like them and go with the tide
But somewhere deep inside it would feel wrong
I’ve had the best of times, I have been thrown aside
As sure as I could ever be I will never be just anyone
Through darker days I’ve learned some things the hardest way
But I’ve seen good hearts at times when I felt down
Marked by the past I’ll keep on going against the grain
As sure as I could ever be I will never be just anyone
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13. |
American
02:18
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AMERICAN
Proud American
Can you please explain in simple words how you think someone like them will build a safer, more human, state for you to live in?
I am only trying to understand where you come from, where you’re dying to go
There must be something wrong with the way I think
Can’t comprehend all that you seem to know
True American
Somehow you're convinced that you are worth more based on the color of your skin
Education failed but it's not too late to unlearn
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14. |
Act Of Consecration
02:58
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ACT OF CONSECRATION
Did you read this book of yours yourself?
And do you really understand the stories that it tells?
Or only what your narrow mind approves?
Some bits of old and new
No one condemns as fast as you
The blessed will rise
Got a thousand reasons to exclude
I wonder what the carpenter would say, if he knew
I thought he spoke about compassion
Equality of all mankind
Or did I fail to understand
The blessed will rise
The greatest scam of all time based on murder, oppression and hypocrisy
You would still burn everything you cannot fight
Silence everyone who claims that none of this was right
Fear of a self-conscious planet
The answer to all problems, every task
Simplicity for all
The blessed no more rise
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15. |
High Street Gloria
02:28
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HIGH STREET GLORIA
Everyone knows how to smile at opportunities
Everyone goes where the music is at
So how come I feel like a newborn slowly trying to see
Feeling uncertain 'bout emotional sensations that are telling me she’s got that look in her eyes
What do I do when it’s mutual and how can I be sure that I’ll be falling down, never to get up
High Street glory
Falling down, never to get up
High Street Gloria
Caught in the words of the one who claims that everything is happening for a reason somehow
Never believed but the truth will be setting me free
I can feel I’ve changed, it’s hard to tell for better or worse
Invisibly stained, I'm a tailor made Midas in reverse
The discord returns
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16. |
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THIS YEAR HAS BEEN THE WORST YET
Like so many do, I made my resolutions on the first day of 2015
I promised myself I would learn to control
Clean up the mess I had been
Cause I've been fighting this world for so long now
A wayward companion to those I love most
I had it up to here, just fed up with myself
I needed answers to questions that rose
I really tried but, goddamn, way too easy I relapsed as I fought to deny
I couldn't do this all by myself, cried for help
Broke down, finally, blew my mind
And there is so much to remember
All the things I'd like to forget
And not a day goes by without pain and regret
This year has been the worst yet
It took me months to get up and recover, at least to get through one day without sleep
I still knew the intentions I made long ago and all the promises that I would keep
Out of the blue you told me that you would leave me and when I found out you had someone new
The panic, the fear, all these feelings of guilt for all the days I forgot to love you
Forty years of feeling deserted and now I break down
Accelerate the end 'cause the feeling I will always lose comes around
(Still not sure whether to leave this here
What if I would just disappear)
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17. |
Seven Times
03:55
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SEVEN TIMES
And slowly I’m trying to make plans again
Braiding a lifeline
At peace about leaving home and all I’ll leave behind
Forcing it from time to time
Seven times I’ll fall, eight I’m standing up
I won’t let go
If I can’t find a way I’ll make one of my own
I won’t let go
I’ve grown to rely on more than I needed
Now it’s balanced more equally today
I’ve lost quite a few but know that nothing’s here to stay
A small step and I’m on my way
41
One step at a time
41
A crack to let the light come pouring in
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F.O.D. Lier, Belgium
F.O.D. is a four piece Belgian punkrock band.
The band is notorious for its catchy vocal harmonies and short melodic songs, all wrapped in their own authentic sound.
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